Monday, December 7, 2009

Li T'ug-husan Tzu - Sexual Thrusts

“The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know.”

Page 123, from the seventh-century physician Li T’ung-hsuan Tzu:

1. Strike left and right as a brave general breaking through the enemy ranks.

2. Rise and suddenly plunge like a wild horse bucking through a mountain stream.

3. Push and pull out like a flock of seagulls playing on the waves.

4. Use deep thrusts and shallow teasing strokes, like a sparrow plucking pieces of rice.

5. Make shallow and then deeper thrusts in steady succession.

6. Push in slowly as a snake entering its hole.

7. Charge quickly like a frightened mouse running into its hole.

8. Hover and then strike like an eagle catching an elusive hare.

9. Rise up and then plunge down low like a great sailboat in a wild wind.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Crap inside and out

South African women are being ripped off! Their high street shops are full of synthetic crap fabrics, crap plastic shoes, crap design all from China. What the hell is wrong here?! A lot. South Africa had a great textile industry, it's got creative talent in abundance and its got a natural style. So why are all the women settling for this second rate crap from China?

And while I'm on the rant, this is not the only reason why the women (sorry the white women) are so badly dressed? Yes I am making a colour statement here. Our black sisters appear to shop and wear their clothes better than the white women. Why? Because black women are not afraid to be women. The average white women wants to prove she's one of the boys by wearing the same shorts, combat pants and, oh mother of god, the very worst of the worst a rugby jersey.

Take a hard look at the last thing you bought in the shop SA girls. Demand better fabrics, tell the retailer 'NO MORE PLASTIC CRAP FROM CHINA' and seriously put down the extra borewors roll and leave the Teesav shorts to the farmers.

Monday, November 23, 2009

When the streets were paved with gold

Back in the heady days of hitting sales targets and spending the client’s money on glorious long lunches or wildly extravagant dinners, I had a run in with a maitre d of the Bluebird, on the Kings Road London.

We were a bunch of advertising kids that had vastly beaten our year’s income targets and were the praise of the agency. The way we had done this was by marking up our work by 200% and the client obliviously paying. Well it was British Gas and British Gas was doing the same to the British home owner. So whilst we were spending their money we were paying high prices for our gas and electricity. That was over our heads though, as all we wanted to do in those days were drink, party and discuss who was the best looking in the agency.

So here we found ourselves doing precisely that in the private dining room at the Bluebird. The evening was long, four coursed, fine wined and lots of high jinks with the work crew. The bill was £3000 of which £1000 was spent on cigars – no one was a smoker at the table. We smoked the stoggies because we could afford them on our expenses. It was applauded, it was our reward for the long days and nights building a career and making money for the Americans. We loved it.

I was on high form when at 1.30am we left the glass box of the private dining room and made our way through the restaurant attempting to find the exit. The restaurant was thinning out with only stranglers left sipping cognacs.

As I swayed through the restaurant I spied the grand piano standing for my attention by the bar. I shimmed over, sat down lifting the hood with glee as my mellowed colleagues gathered round for the impromptu recital.

As I struck the first cord, in what was to be a bashed version of something I had long forgotten, the Maitre‘d was by my elbow sternly.

“Please madam, do not play the piano.” he asked

“Oh but I must”, I replied, cheered on by the swaying work crew. They wanted the show. A few had now broken away and we at the bar kissing. We will all remember that in the morning.

I slammed the keys again.

“No madam, please I must insist that you not play” the poor chap requested.

“Oh but I insist that I do play, we have spent a vast fortune in your private dining room tonight and I want to play the piano” my little foot tapping on the floor and all puffed up by my own importance helped very nicely with Ch√Ęteau neuf du Papa, ‘64.

I leered forward and as I was once again about to thrash the ivory this time accompanied loudly by my tone deaf singing, the dear Maitre d’ pleaded;

“Madam please I beg you not to play the piano, I don’t think Sir Elton John; sitting in the corner over there will appreciate it”.

There was Elton John in the corner of the Bluebird enjoying a simple evening with a friend.

We left quietly without bestowing him the privilege of to my version of Good Bye Norma Jean.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Lyrics for the best song in the world

Girl From The North Country

Well, if you're travelin' in the north country fair,
Where the winds hit heavy on the borderline,
Remember me to one who lives there.
She once was a true love of mine.

Well, if you go when the snowflakes storm,
When the rivers freeze and summer ends,
Please see if she's wearing a coat so warm,
To keep her from the howlin' winds.

Please see for me if her hair hangs long,
If it rolls and flows all down her breast.
Please see for me if her hair hangs long,
That's the way I remember her best.

I'm a-wonderin' if she remembers me at all.
Many times I've often prayed
In the darkness of my night,
In the brightness of my day.

So if you're travelin' in the north country fair,
Where the winds hit heavy on the borderline,
Remember me to one who lives there.
She once was a true love of mine.

- Bob Dylan

Friday, October 2, 2009

Gandhi's birthday

Ahimsa, sanscrit for non violence. This is the word of the man. Do no harm in the quest for peace and freedom. We are all living here, surely peace and freedom are all of our quests?
Ahimsa should therefore be a familiar mantra to us all.

Gandhi lived and died a simple man who progressed through a world of complexity with calmness and sobriety.

It's his birthday today. So we remember him well.

Namaste

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Oprah Winfrey Black Eyed Peas Flash Mob



Everyone wins with a flashmob. Oprah was launching her 24th season with Black Eyed Peas and 21,000 people in Chicago. What was just supposed to be a concert was actually a flashmob arranged by T Mobile. Genuis, they piggybacked on Oprah, Black Eyed Peas and the current marketing favorites; socal and viral vehicles. I'm calling this'SOVIAL'. In other words those long in the tooth marketeers that don't have an ear to the ground on contemporary street culture will miss out. A movement apart its competitors this brand is taking a risk, a very culculated one at that. You got Oprah so how far wrong can you go. I'll be glad to see the old boring marketing mix gathering dust on the shelves of the American congolmerates being chucked out the window for now, that is until the next big idea comes along.

So does everyone win? Oprah does, she gets to be part of the SOVIAL revolution and keeps her hip happening, Black Eyed Peas, well they are supercool anyway but this ups the ante with online video sharing, spreads there name and the illegal downloading increases. Hmmmm. T Mobile wins as they have these two cool names by assosiation, a viral ad and to date 600,000 views, not bad not bad. The dancing people win, they had a cool dance, enjoyed themselves and have endless mileage for dinner party chat.
The consumer, yeah that guy, does he win? He has to buy the phone, spend $200 and think he's cool. Of course the TMobile G1 is cool as it is a first for Google. If that's what gives you kicks. The real winner is so called media progression and bravery. Both of those are the reason this risk will pay off.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Waiting for love

The guarantee will be inner. It will be a commitment from the heart, it will be a silent communion. If you enjoy being with somebody, you would like to enjoy it more and more. If you enjoy the intimacy, you would like to explore the intimacy more and more.And there are a few flowers of love which bloom only after long intimacies. There are seasonal flowers too; within six weeks they are there in the sun, but within six weeks again they are gone forever. There are flowers which take years to come, and there are flowers which take many years to come. The longer it takes, the deeper it goes.But it has to be a commitment from one heart to another heart. It has not even to be verbalized, because to verbalize it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment; eye to eye, heart to heart, being to being. It has to be understood, not said. (Osho)

Monday, September 21, 2009

Educating in the wild

Mushilila School is situated in a remote region in Zambia's Lower Luangwa Valley. It is relatively close to Munyamadzi Game Ranch, whose shareholders have recently launched a pontoon across the Luangwa River and opened basic access roads. New access made it possible for a small group from Munyamadzi to visit the school late last year, and their visit brought to my attention the dire plight of the children. This is best expressed through the words of one of the visitors, Deborah.

"The school seems to have been cut off from the rest of the world.... The resident teacher, who has been there over 20 years, explained that 264 children attend school daily, many of them from a distance of 40km away. It takes them the whole morning to walk there, and as long to get back, many leaving and arriving home in the dark. Many are as young as 6 years old. Remember, this area is wild: A man-eating lion had attacked and killed a man while we were there, and a small boy had been mauled the day before we visited the school, his injured leg an open, fly-infested wound that had not been dressed due to lack of medical supplies.”

“When the children finally arrive at school there is no food for them. There is one classroom with makeshift desks, many children sitting on the floor to learn. A single room with a bare dirt floor serves as an overnight shelter for around 50 children who can’t make it home every day. Once a year, the children have to walk 90km to Nyimba to collect school supplies and text books – and they do!!”

“It seems that education is a top priority in Zambia and, as can be seen by the regular attendance of the children even from so far away, it is recognized as their only hope of self-betterment.”

The new owners of Munyamadzi have pledged to support the school, but the amount of upgrading and rehabilitation required is immense.
Mushilila School Project has identified initial main goals to assist the school:

1. To install a borehole to ensure a fresh water supply
2. To provide solar power
3. To build a new classroom block
4. To build and equip a new hostel to accommodate weekly boarders
5. To develop land around the school as a kitchen garden
6. To supply basic food on a regular basis
7. To provide basic school supplies, including stationary, desks, chalkboards, play equipment
8. To establish a school-based primary clinic equipped with medical supplies

Go to http://www.mushilila.blogspot.com/ to support it

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Where to next........?

Brazil, Bahia, Lesotho, Swaziland....been to all those places but want to go back. I'm off to Cape Town again next week, was there last week. I was also in the bush in Northern Zululand where mating leopards kept us entertained all night. My tent has never seen so much action! Uhh hmmm. Now I'm thinking of Senegal, Mali, D'jbouti, Rwanda, Ethopia....the list is long long long.

Africa is my priority travel for the next two years. But I have some friends wanting me to party with them in Bahia. So what to do?

Friday, September 18, 2009

Restless legs

Restless legs is a symptom of anxiety and stress. It means your legs twitch or move uncontrollably. Mine do that, at night. I lie down in bed and off they go. I toss and turn, frustrated beyond belief. I'm supposed to be relaxing, taking time out, breathing deeply but not tonight or any of the last four months worth of nights.

So these restless legs, what are they all about? My thinking is I want to get the hell out of here and be on the move again. My travel list suddenly appears in my mind, I look around to chat but there is no one there. They are all married and multiplied so who will want to hear my next adventure plan?

My next adventure was supposed to be calming down, staying in one place, meditating...being still. What good is that doing me if I STILL have restless legs?

The wandering spirit is alive and kicking!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Supreme Ultimate Fist

Tai chi, strength in softness. I had my first Tai chi lesson this evening and was enthralled. The way of the tiger is through a dance of lightness. I'm now adding to my eastern practices having completed Muay Thai and Yoga courses. Tai Chi and Qigong are now next. These beautiful meditative practices hold so much power in grace that my heart has expanded after this very first session.

On the grass overlooking the sea tomorrow I will be moving with my breath in the stillness of my mind.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Crazy cow!

So, I was driving at 140m/hr along the N2 from Durban to Pietermarizburg, South Africa today, very late for an appointment...when in a blink of an eye in front of me walking slowly down the fast lane was an Nguni Cow. Two lanes of traffic full up to the left of me. Something must have intervened because I did not hit it and I have no idea how, because I stayed in my lane and when I looked in the rear view mirror after I had past,the cow was still there and I was still here.
You got to love Africa, this only happens here.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Friday, March 20, 2009

I've been living

I've been away from a computer for a very long time living a real life. Sorry for the silence, did you even miss me?

I have many thoughts following my travels which I will once again share with you.